Suspect O (Ev 14)

My parents never bought a house and we spent the first 18 years of my life moving home to home so by the time I took over the rent, I knew that domestic stability was the most important purpose of my life. And I became so fixated that I worked three jobs and ended up buying my own first flat at the age of 22 – six months before I got married. No one contributed a penny towards it. It is my single biggest independent accomplishment to date and something I am incredibly proud of.

After my wedding, and when we returned to the UK, I continued supporting my family but also contributed towards the running of my marital home too. However, six months into the marriage, my ex-husband sat me down and said, ‘I am not happy about you supporting your parents financially. You are not a son; it is not your job.’

I tried to explain that I had always done this and they rely on my income to pay their rent and my brother was not financially stable enough to do it and my sister was a child.

He listened and then said, ‘I have spoken to my mum about this. We have decided that if you have the money to run one household, you can run two. I won’t be contributing financially at all and you can pay for both households, as you obviously can afford to waste your money.’

Even typing these words now, I can see how completely callous, unreasonable and unfair he was – and I am sure some of you are thinking, ‘Why didn’t you leave the bastard’ but I didn’t. I paid my parents’ rent, my mortgage and the bills of both houses. The Ogre paid nothing. Not a penny.

This luxury meant that he saved lots of money during our 13 year marriage. He went on six holidays per year, taking his mum with him of course, and ended up buying three houses.

I, on the other hand, worked three jobs, seven days a week, eighteen hour shifts, and didn’t have five pounds to buy underwear from Tesco at the end of the month.

I lost my confidence and self-worth and withdrew completely into a shell. The Ogre saw my state and just laughed and said, ‘Your parents are responsible for your condition, not me. Go and get me more food.’