Suspect O (Evidence 17)

The Ogre was never a supportive partner. He was extremely narcissistic and only interested in talking about himself. Some of this is cultural – I have seen many men from the same background (now that I am aware of the trait) who manage to turn every conversation to themselves. So, if you say, ‘I just bought a handbag’, he would say, ‘Handbags were invented in India.’ He wouldn’t just say, I work in ____. He would say, I work in the NUMBER ONE MOST POPULAR etc etc etc. Droning on and getting off to the sound of his own voice. 13 years of this was like being strapped to an electric chair. I was really embarrassed of this behaviour and didn’t want him to meet any of my friends.

But anyway, soon, once he settled into the country, and realised how things worked, he came up to me one day and said he wants to buy a car and use my name, as he was new and didn’t have a credit rating yet. So I bought him a car and at first, he paid all the instalments and then, once he had decided he would not contribute anything at all to the household expenses or mortgage, he stopped paying for the car too. He used to say, ‘make me.’ When my brother ruined my credit completely, I got to the stage where I had no money at all, so I couldn’t even get a phone contract. I begged my husband to get me the contracts in his name, and he did, but obviously the payment details were mine. In return, he took out 3 additional contracts and linked them to my payment details too. So each month, I was paying.4 phone contracts, his car, my brother’s loans, my parents’ rent and then all of my bills. Those contracts were in his name which meant he got all the upgrades too. So 4 times a year, he used to get brand new phones and distribute them to his family in India like he was God. I had the same phone for ten years. Because he lived bill-free, he also saved a lot of money over the 13 years and bought 3 houses, whilst I sank lower and lower into bankruptcy.

I was so desperate to get rid of them that I walked away from that marriage not claiming a penny. All I wanted was him gone. My solicitor told me I was mad but she hadn’t lived my life.